Police jokes

1 | Page 2 | 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Next police jokes »

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"

Rating: 2.0 |

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.

"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"

"11" he replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."

"What two days of the weekstart with the letter 'T'?"

"Today and tomorrow."

He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant.

"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

Rating: 3.6 |

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.

The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"

"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."

"What fer?", asked Bubba.

"Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.

Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.

When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"

"No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."

Rating: 1.6 |

A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out.

The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. " Oy Morris ", said grandma, " You've been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? " Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Morris whispered, " I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."

Rating: 3.2 |

Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer.

"I juggle them in my act."

"Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Let's see you do it." So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives.

A guy driving by sees this and says, "Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!"

Rating: 3.0 |

Next police jokes »

1 | Page 2 | 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Browse all the jokes by category:

  • Aardvark jokes

  • Accountant jokes

  • Answer me this jokes

  • Ant jokes

  • Apple jokes

  • Aviation jokes

  • Baby jokes

  • Banana jokes

  • Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

  • Barbie doll jokes

  • Bath jokes

  • Beauty jokes

  • Bed jokes

  • Bicycle jokes

  • Biologist jokes

  • Bird jokes

  • Birthday jokes

  • Blind jokes

  • Blonde jokes

  • Book title jokes

  • Brother and sister jokes

  • Burger jokes

  • Bus jokes

  • Business jokes

  • Cannibal jokes

  • Car and train jokes

  • Cat jokes

  • Children jokes

  • Christmas jokes

  • Clinton jokes

  • College jokes

  • Computer jokes

  • Cow jokes

  • Cowboy jokes

  • Criminal jokes

  • Dance jokes

  • Dead and dying jokes

  • Dentist jokes

  • Dinosaur jokes

  • Divorce jokes

  • Doctor and nurse jokes

  • Dog jokes

  • E-mail jokes

  • Easter jokes

  • Elephant jokes

  • Ethnic jokes

  • Face jokes

  • Farmer jokes

  • Firefighter jokes

  • Fishing jokes

  • Food jokes

  • Frog jokes

  • Ghost jokes

  • Gorilla jokes

  • Hair and bald jokes

  • Halloween jokes

  • Heaven and hell jokes

  • History jokes

  • Horse jokes

  • Humor jokes

  • Hunting jokes

  • Idiot and fool jokes

  • Insect jokes

  • Internet jokes

  • Journalist jokes

  • Judge jokes

  • King Kong jokes

  • Knock Knock jokes

  • Lawyer jokes

  • Letter jokes

  • Lotto jokes

  • Marriage jokes

  • Men jokes

  • Mental health jokes

  • Military jokes

  • Money jokes

  • Monster jokes

  • Mouse jokes

  • Movie and TV jokes

  • Music jokes

  • Old age jokes

  • Parent jokes

  • Pig jokes

  • Police jokes

  • Political jokes

  • Rabbit jokes

  • Religious jokes

  • Restaurant jokes

  • Salesmen jokes

  • School jokes

  • Snake jokes

  • Snowman jokes

  • Space jokes

  • Spelling jokes

  • Sport jokes

  • Teeth jokes

  • Telephone jokes

  • Time jokes

  • Travel and tourist jokes

  • Vampire jokes

  • Various animal jokes

  • Waiter jokes

  • Weather jokes

  • Witch jokes

  • Women jokes

  • Yo momma jokes

  • Zodiac jokes

  • Zoo jokes
  • ...or read some samples at jokes directory.